Hi Cus,

Why does it feel like I’ve used this title already? Probably because it’s not the first time you’ve read these words in my blog? BUT yes! I so need a hug.

I’ve been away on vacation – visiting friends in the East Coast. I’ve had a fantastic time with them and some cool experiences I will share with you during one of our Skype dates… BUT I find that every time I experience something new it also teaches me something about myself (I guess).. then again this could be the 3 glasses of wine I had today…

I miss it! Do you know what I’m talking about? Snuggling or cuddling into that person who tells you that you’re beautiful and amazing and loveable. That person you turn on who turns you on in return… BUT here’s the catcher – wait for it… he’s actually available!!! Right?!!! And I’m not talking emotionally, but actually available to you. And I’m not looking to live with someone or even a serious relationship per say… but for once it would be nice to have that person you can count on for that really really good hug or cuddle. Someone who doesn’t feel guilty for that hug or cuddle because they have to worry about someone else’s feelings or that maybe they are cheating. Someone who is not temporary.

Oh and don’t think for one second that I don’t think that I’m beautiful or f***ing awesome or loveable. It’s not about that. It’s about someone saying it to you that is truly yours. I guess it’s hard really to explain without giving too much away. I guess I just realized some things today and I’m sad because of how they made me feel. And no one set out to hurt me – at least not purposely. And I’m to blame too because I put myself on this path. Then again, you know me… no regrets – just learning experiences, which I welcome and cherish. It just a moment in time that makes me feel a little lonely as I lay in bed here by myself with no one to cuddle with and those strong comforting arms that say “you’re home”.

On a separate note, I may become a nun! Can someone Jewish become a nun? Lol. But seriously I haven’t been on online dating apps in awhile and don’t miss it. And for those restless nights I’ll get myself a book or pull out The Womanizer (google that ;-)) lol… If anyone wants to play matchmaker I’m open to going on a date. But so far they haven’t proved to be that exciting. Yep, no one (available) seems to excite me… Maybe I need therapy! SO I think I’ll try becoming a nun – maybe at 60? I have some time. I do have one great idea (maybe) – join a hot yoga class. I went recently with a friend and I would say the male to female ratio was about 50-50… granted most may be gay… but maybe they have a cute brother or friend, lol…. anyways, just a thought as I did actually enjoy the class and not just the view ;-).

Okay cus… I miss you!! Hope to have a Skype date when I’m back. I hope you’re doing okay too!

xox

Me

Oh… and here’s the flavour of the month #musicthatmakesmefeel