Hi!

I’m on the plane now on the way to Thailand. There is still about three hours of flight time, but it hasn’t been too bad for a 13-hour flight. I’ve seen three movies so far (I think I’ve only slept 2-3 hours). I really enjoyed Sleeping With Other People. It’s weird, it’s just a comedy, but maybe because where my head is at, it got to me (but more on that later). I also watched a ridiculous but cute Bollywood movie and ended with Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, which I also really enjoyed. There’s just something about Tina Fey that’s appealing and relateable (I listened to her audio book a few months back – Bossy Pants). I think that’s enough movies for now. Soon they’ll give us breakfast and I’ll need to leave some movies for the way back!

So back to being on the plane on the way to Thailand. I’m a little apprehensive, a little scared to tell you the truth. I did feel like I needed to do this trip solo – I need to prove something to myself – but still, I’m worried. How much will I allow myself to experience? How much will I allow myself to let loose, have fun and push myself out of my comfort zone? I don’t/won’t have a side kick to help me out with that. Also, some people have tried to put a damper on this trip. One guy was worried about my safety and that I will attract unwanted attention because of my looks (you would think that I’m some sort of a bombshell – geez). Others told me it’s rainy season and not the best time to go. I on the other hand would really like to meet some good, fun, intelligent and trustworthy people to hang out with. Maybe even make some new global friends?! Wish me luck because I don’t want to be scared to the point of being afraid to venture out, sightsee, experience new things and the culture.

So why solo you ask? Other than trying to prove something to myself? First, I’m running away. I’m running away from all the men I’ve met this past year – at least the ones who meant something. Men with whom I connected, hooked up with, had a good chemistry with, but for some reason or another nothing more can develop out of these encounters. They are unavailable… whether emotionally or physically (in other words – geography) or.. I choose “other” :)! I’m hoping to get some much needed perspective and clear my head. Both of which I doubt very much will happen by the way. Running away is good, right? Fuck, what does it matter – they are all unavailable! Except that for some reason or another they keep popping into my life or head (but only these special ones). They are the ones I believe actually care about me – regardless of the circumstances!

Although I have this blog, which I haven’t really shared with anyone (except you and my cousin) it has been a while since I actually kept a diary or written in pen. But I know that once I’m back home, I’ll transfer this to my blog – and here I am, as promised.

But even as I write this (pen to paper on a plane), I still write as if I’m writing to you – always to you! I guess I think, I hope that you care the most!

Fuck BSG I’m still pissed at you because of the birthday thing, but also because you couldn’t even bother sending me a quick text, Skype message or email to simply wish me Safe Travels!

You suck!

Me xx