Do you recall me telling you that I was bored a few weekends ago? I was at home on a Saturday evening with nothing interesting to do, so I decided to create a Tinder profile. It was the weekend she was with you – the weekend she came to visit you. I think I was hoping that I could meet someone on Tinder that would make me forget about you or at least distract me. Not too much to ask, is it?

There are moments I wish I could get you out of my head. I truly do. And the thing is BSG… the thing is that I know you make absolutely no sense in my life as it is right now. And this is not some bullshit romantic comedy where things will suddenly align… The reality is that you can’t handle my life as it is. Maybe one day… 15 years from now… when my kids are out of the house. But not today. And as I told you before, I could die tomorrow… so why wait to take what I CAN actually get from you? So I take what you are able to give and I enjoy it. And yes, sometimes there are tears (on my end of course), and sometimes a little ping in my heart, a little hurt. But never regret. Never with you. Why do I care so much? It’s because first and foremost (at least on my end) – you are my friend! You are the person I want to share things with (even if you are not always available). You are the person I want to come to for advise (about other men, lol). I told you once already… that I’ve grown to care about you. Even love you. BUT I told you not to overthink that statement. I love a lot of people. I can give freely of myself. You are my dear friend, therefore I love you. Common sense, lol.

So far Tinder is not really helping me. It’s actually messing with my brain and emotions (and I know you said that right now, that’s not a something I need or a good combination). I get that. But Tinder deserves a separate post.

So in the meantime, I can’t get you out of my head. I will be at a conference and hear something interesting and I will share it with you. I will talk to you about fascinating tidbits I read in a book or article. I will watch a movie and say to myself “I think BSG is really going to dig this. He will so love/get this humour!” And I will listen to a song that will remind me of a moment in time with you, and sometimes the tears will start. But that’s okay, I’m used to tears, lol.

So for now, and in case that tomorrow never comes… in case I cease to exist sooner rather than later… for now I will take what I can get and what you can give.

Be well my friend. Be happy. And above all, no regrets!

….and yes! One day you may cease being my friend just because of my taste in music 😉